Sunday, December 30, 2007

190 lbs!!!!

I'm already down 5 lbs this week, and before my period too! That was my goal for next month. My weight fluctuates so much that 5 lbs isn't a huge deal to drop in a week for me, but it means that I'm already 10% to my goal, before the New Year even starts! I was hoping to be able to get the big 1st week numbers, but still it shocked me, since I ate soooo badly all last week. Just goes to show how much a chocolate binge or a bottle of wine does affect my body.

I'm doing really well with the eating right now. I've learned through sooo many failed diets (well, they can't really have failed if I never made it to the end of the day...) that I need to make changes slowly. Since I've already done this successfully once, I have a lot of confidence in myself to do it again. I've already cut out the really unnecessary sugars, the pop, cookies and goodies, and sugary tea. I'm working today on starting to cut out the sugar servings I'm really dependent on, like in my oatmeal. Oatmeal isn't really the tastiest of foods, sugar makes it nice, but I'm going to learn to enjoy it without sugar. Really, I'm sure oatmeal has subtle charms that I have heretofore missed because of the sugar... it's gotta have something, right?

I didn't exercise yesterday, but I did a whole lot of housework. I'm moving back to green housekeeping, so it meant a whole lot of kneeling, scrubbing, rinsing, carrying the water bucket around to dump and refill. Not what I'd been hoping to do, physically, but if there is one thing I have learned this year, it's to listen to my body veeeeery closely.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

New Year, new goals

I'm getting back up on that horse, hope I don't break the poor thing's back, sigh. I've gained back all the weight I've managed to lose over the last 3 years, so I'm right back where I started. I am doing better now and am able to get some exercise, and do some food prep, instead of depending on convenience foods.

O has decided he wants to get on the fitness bandwagon with me, making things much easier for me. Having a buddy to kick my ass out of the house (and vice versa) helps so much, and not having to worry about what he'll be willing to eat makes my food planning and prep much smoother.

I've been slowly weaning myself off sugar this week. I don't plan on going totally sugar-free for a few months at least (summer would be the easiest time for me), but do want to cut out sugary foods and other simple carbs like chips, and eat very limited amounts of home made sweets and desserts until then.

Right now, for January, I'm working on food planning and making sure I have healthy snacks and options around to make easy work day lunches and bedtime snacks. I'm looking for some good bean dip recipes, and hope to experiment with some crackers and breads this coming month. I'm going to have a whole week straight off work (give or take a day), so I'm hoping to do lots of feed-the-freezer cooking.

For my body, I'll be aiming to do a yoga dvd at least 3 times a week, getting outside for a walk daily, climbing stairs here at the building (I'm on the 5th floor, so I'll start with doing the stairs once a day, and work up to at least 5 or 6 repeats), and playing hacky sack in my apartment (cheap winter workout!)

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Wow man!

I was soooo sick. I was so sick I didn't know how sick I was!

And I'm still sick. This is no flu. It's some sort of super-flu, a super-duper flu that makes bird flu look like bunny flu! Crap I was sick!

And now, thanks to sleeping 14 hours a day, only being able to eat simple starch foods like toast and noodles, and the crappy food available at work, I've put back on all the weight it took me 3 years to lose! Arrrggghhhh!

Ok, the plan for now:

I've given up on the idea of the gym for this year, at least. I've gone once in the last month, did 15 minutes on the bike and a light arm weight workout and was bed-ridden for 2 days afterward! I don't know if it's because I'm still sick, or because the weight I put back on is putting that much more of a strain on me, but I'm going to have to go slow, no matter what.

My plan is to combine fitness with housework, kill two birds with one stone. So I'm doing the whole green housekeeping thing, cleaning the kitchen and bathroom with baking soda and vinegar, getting down on my knees and scrubbing and rinsing. Washing the walls, windows, doing small loads of laundry by hand in a bucket. My place is slowly getting back to normal, and I'm building up my fitness level while I'm at it.

Xmas is a crappy time to have to go back on a diet, but there's nothing for it. I just have to bite the bullet, get back on the diet, and no cheating! It's not just that I'm fat, I feel like crap, I feel at least 30 years older than I really am, and I'm losing large chunks of my life to sleeping and being exhausted. Xmas or not, diet, here I come.

I need to prioritize time to do yoga, as well, and to block off time to do food prep, and hope that I'm functional and capable of cooking and cleaning when I have the time to do it. I have to pack a meal for work every day, and keep high-protein foods around the office for emergencies. And I know I've been saying it for months, but no more cola or goodies at work. I need to bring in some healthy, high protein snacks to keep my blood sugar stable, so it doesn't drop halfway through the dinner rush and leave me fuzzy and looking for the pop gun.

My short-term goal is to lose 10 lbs by Jan. 1/08. I think this is reasonable, since I usually drop 5 lbs in water weight whenever I start to exercise and drop the junk food.

Saturday, October 20, 2007


I was waaaay sicker than I thought I was, and I'm only starting to feel better now. My diet got really bad while I was sick, eating a bag of chips for dinner, stuff like that, because I was just too tired to even think about what to eat, let alone plan, shop and cook. I never want to get that sick again.

Hopefully this has kicked me in the butt enough to really sink in that I can't eat any way I want to, and I can't put my health second. I had a long talk with the big boss at work about my health (I'm still not sure that I can even do this job anymore), who told me how he developed diabetes largely the same way I'm going to (going for way too long without eating, living off caffeine and sugary foods at work, working way too long hours and not exercising) and how he learned the hard way not to put his body second. He's given me permission to eat and rest when I need to (sounds pretty basic, but a huge concession in my line of work.)

The good news is that my hemoglobin numbers are finally up, for the first time in 20 years, so the iron pills are working, and my fatigue isn't anemia. The bad news is that it's probably all candida related, or maybe I'm developing something new and completely different (wouldn't that be lovely!) Starting today I'm going back to a sugar and white flour-free diet, until Jan. 1, then I might go on to eliminating all flour products and sweet fruits too, if need be.

I haven't bothered with a weigh-in for a long time, but I'll do one tomorrow to get (another) baseline. Right now weight loss will be the last of my goals, but hopefully a nice side effect of the new diet.

Sunday, October 7, 2007


I have been sick as a dog all week long, just starting to feel human again. Head cold, stomach flu, and raging hay fever, all at the same time, plus sick teenage boy and now a sick kittie, I'm feeling like locking myself in the bathroom and not coming out until I've been guaranteed a new life.

And, as usual, I'm starting to feel better just in time to spend all my time at work, 9 days straight starting on Tuesday, almost 2 straight weeks with only 1 day off. Oh I'm so glad to be me (struggling to keep a straight face here.)

So, I haven't even bothered to weigh-in lately, no real reason to, and I mostly forget, I've been so out of it in the mornings. I haven't been able to keep up with much, not my diet, I did 1/2 hour of yoga this week and was sore and achy for days afterward, and barely able to walk 10 feet without stopping for breath.

So here I am again, starting all over... again, argh!

Ok, vent over, tomorrow is another day, yada yada etc...

Tomorrow is also, however, Thanksgiving, otherwise known as the Irish food and drinking binge around my family. I don't think I have it in me to even pig out tomorrow at my sister's.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Still tired

I really hate this whole "I don't know my body or my limits anymore" thing. I'm still tired all day long and barely moving, and just walking to the library and the pharmacy (6 blocks round trip total) this morning wore me out so badly I think I have to take a nap before work. It isn't helping that I've been working almost every day this week, and will barely get a day off this month.

On the plus side, though, I am making headway in the diet department, I've really cut down on the sugar and the snacking, have kept to my supplement routine, and the sugar cravings are starting to go away. If I can stick to my diet, I should be sugar-free or nearly so by the end of October.

I've decided to return to the low Glycemic Index diet, it has been the easiest to stick to, and seems to work very well for me. By default, O will be eating this way too. I'm not making 8 meals a day, and I can't afford all the meat and dairy he would like to eat (and neither can his waist size!)

So far today, my eating hasn't been fantastic, I had trouble eating this morning and didn't have breakfast until 2:30pm, had a fried egg sandwich on toast, and an orange. I had to eat, finally, the iron pill was eating it's way through my stomach, ouch! I'm packing a lunch and snack to eat at the stadium tonight, so I don't have to eat the crap we have there (even worse than the arena, my best option is probably a hot dog, no where to buy juice, fruit, or anything remotely vegetable-like, but every stall serves chocolate bars and pizza!) Will likely pack a ham sandwich (with the sprouts I've been sprouting but not eating!), some more fruit, maybe the pasta from the freezer, and a small salad.

Tomorrow is tv football day, but I'm not buying chips or nachos. I'm going to make a healthy dip platter for dinner, red pepper hummus, homemade ranch, peanut sauce and some white bean-roasted garlic dip, with raw veggies and pita bread.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

184 pounds

I've lost a bit this week, and I'm pre-menstrual, so I'll be losing a bit more next week, if I can keep this going. I've really stuck to the supplement routine for a few days now, and it's already having some results.

Tomorrow I will start on a low-GI diet again, following this plan, as well as sticking to my supplement plan, doing yoga at least 4 days a week, and walking daily. Hopefully by this time next week, I will be able to post a slightly larger weight loss, and that I'm feeling much better in general.

That said, I'm being a total pig today, it's football Sunday, and O is feeling a little needy, so we're having a Mommy-Son day, eating chips and pop and watching Da Bears.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Still flat on my ass

I'm still totally zonked out, fatigued, sleeping 12 hours a day, barely have any muscle strength. I don't know if this is cumulative fatigue from the extra exercise I've been doing, a result of the day from hell I had at work on Wednesday, or if my thyroid needs to be rechecked.

If I'm still totally zonked out by Monday, I'll call to get the blood test ordered. But given how my muscles feel, I think this is cumulative fatigue, I've just pushed myself too far again. I have to back down, do some very gentle exercising, and take a good look at my diet.

Despite all my resolutions, I'm still eating worse than crappy. Still way too much junk food, sugar, pop, chips, subs, fatty meat, and general crap. I tried out the higher fat, more meat way, and, while it did help my energy level a bit (and my skin looked fantastic!), I've gained 20lbs in 2 months and dragging all that extra fat around is way too hard for me. I've got to go back to what I know works for me, and work on sticking to a no-sugar diet.

So, work for the week:
Cut out sugar (yeah, I'm going to be a total bitch for a while)
Follow supplement regimen

I'm going to look into doing a full Candida cure in a month or two, when I can afford it.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Resting a bit

Haven't posted for a few days. I really did burn myself out this time, have to slow down on the exercise plans, never even did get around to getting out to the Y yet this month, it was just all the walking I was doing.

It never fails to catch me by surprise, even after all these years with hypo and all the other stuff I've got going on. I feel good, so I want to exercise more, the more I exercise, the better I feel, so I do even more, and then, Whammo! I'm on my ass for a few days. When will I learn?

So, still taking things easy today. Work last night was hell and I must have walked/jogged the length of the arena two dozen times. I've still got to go to work for a few hours, and then some grocery shopping, but mostly I will have to rest today, I didn't get much sleep last night, and will need a few naps today.

Maybe I will try to do a bit of light yoga today. It's raining out and cold, so that should keep me from wanting to go out for a long walk. The weather up till now has been gorgeous, crisp, fall weather with clear blue skies and it really sucked to be so tired and drained and not to be able to enjoy it all.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Tired, so very, very tired

I think I've burnt my body out a bit with all the walking I've been doing. I'm soooo freaking tired today. Just walking to Dairy Queen was a chore (and yes, I had a blizzard, there goes resolve #1 out the window already.)

Other than the Blizzard, I was pretty good today, had a whole wheat bagel, toasted with butter and 1 cup skim milk for breakfast. Lunch was 1/2 can onion soup, 1/2 bagel with smoked gouda melted on top, 1 pear and 1 cup orange juice. For dinner I'm having spaghetti and meatballs. For a snack later on I'll try to have some muesli and yogurt.

I've had my iron today, 1 probiotic between meals, and am about to have my 1st cup of tea. Writing out the med routine has really helped to make sure I follow it about 75% of the time. Hopefully this will get better with time.

As far as exercise goes, I haven't really done anything today, I think I really need a rest day. I'm going to try to hit the Y tomorrow with O after the library.

Weigh-in: gained 3 lbs!

I've gained 3 lbs this week! 3 lbs!!!!! Ok, so my eating has been crap, but I've been doing yoga, walking miles and miles every day! I had hoped to at least stay where I was!

Ok, this week is going to be better!!!

Goals for week:
NO JUNK FOOD!!! I really, really mean it!!!!
No snacking from the buffets and catering stuff at work!!
Plan snacks ahead of time, for when work days get out of control
Go to Y at least twice this week
Go to Yoga Club at work: Tuesday/Thursday at noon
Cut down on fat and simple carbs
Follow daily supplement routine more closely
Make full meal plan and follow it closely

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Life, as usual, gets in the way

I didn't post yesterday because I didn't seem to have a second to eat, let alone post.

Worked yesterday, a needlessly, stupidly long and hard day because of the money crunch. Now everything has to be done over and over, with someone who has no idea how I do my job looking over my shoulder constantly asking stupid questions. Wound up so busy that I didn't have time to eat between 10am and 9:30pm, except for a few pieces of cake off the dessert tray. Man did I feel crappy.

I did get a morning walk in, 45 minutes around Wolseley. The rest of the day, from the moment I walked into work was a write-off. Despite my constant pledges, I drank several glasses of coke. Even my staff were making fun of me for needing liquid caffeine, but since I hadn't eaten anything for about 8 hours, and it would be hours more before I could even grab a bowl of soup, I needed the sugar and caffeine to keep me going.

Today wasn't much better. Woke up late, had to run in to work to finish up a few things, didn't have time for breakfast. As soon as I got home from work we had to run off to the football game. Had to be there early for team pictures, and for me to work the bbq, so I grabbed a cheeseburger and coke as soon as I got there, another cheeseburger and coke a few hours later. Fantastic game, another blow-out for O's team, btw, but as soon as I got home I had to call work, again, on my freaking day off, to answer a question I'd already answered, so was too pissed off to eat. Ate a pack of Ichiban, and now all I want is a beer, or 6, and someone to yell at for a while. I certainly don't feel like having a salad and then doing some yoga (probably the best thing for me at the moment, but I'd rather a punching bag than downward dog right now!)

So, tomorrow's weigh-in is probably a moot point, I doubt I've lost any weight. Sigh, well, tomorrow is the beginning of another week!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Today's effort

I did pretty good today, no sugary crap so far, at least. I did eat Ichiban for lunch, and I'm still burping it up, grooooooss. Having perogies and steak for dinner. Didn't do the tea in the am, but am steeping it now, so should get it in tonight. Tomorrow will start with the routine I posted earlier, mucked it up a bit for today before I wrote it up, so couldn't start it yet. I hope this will help get the blood sugar/exhaustion/candida stuff in hand.

Haven't done yoga today, but did take a glorious nap while O was at football practice, and I think sleep should count as virtuous for me, given how little I actually do it.

Supplement and medication routine

So much of the stuff I have to take can't be taken with other stuff, so I'm going to have to figure out a daily routine and try to stick with it.

1st thing: synthroid
1 hour later: eat breakfast with protein and drink Pao D'arco tea
between breakfast and lunch: iron, Vitamin C, B50 and Folic Acid, take with oj and some protein (not dairy)
1 hour after lunch: probiotic
after dinner: effexor, black cohosh, cal-mag, drink 2nd cup Pao D'arco tea
1 hour before bed: 1tsp psyllium seed husks

Eat 3 meals and 3 snacks per day, with protein at each meal.
Do not drink tea or soda.
No white flour products.
No refined sugar products.

I'm glad I blog!

If I hadn't read yesterday's post, I wouldn't have remembered what I had planned for today! Yoinks! My mind is going faster than my ass is growing!

Went for a lovely long walk this morning. Ignored work stuff completely. I'm not supposed to be working too many hours when the restaurant isn't open, ok fine, but then why do they call me with problems every time I do take the day off, like I'm supposed to!?! Yeesh. Went to Vita Health and picked up some more Pao D'arco tea, psyllium seed husks (for to make with the movements, so to speak, since I started taking the iron pills) and some fermented milk probiotic drink I'm trying out. It's freaking pricey so it had better be good!

Haven't eaten breakfast yet, except for a fruit leather before the walk. I'm really going to have to reset my digestive system, I'm not hungry, then I'm ravenous, then I'm too nauseous to eat, all in the space of a few minutes.

I feel like having tea and toast for breakfast, but I'm having a sandwich for lunch, and soup and bread for dinner, so I should force myself to eat oatmeal like a good girl. Will do some yoga later on today, I'd like to try a sun salute flow on the Shiva Rea dvd.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Wednesday not much better

Worked all day, from 8am, not a happy time for me, I'm used to going to sleep around 6, so getting up at the same time is a huge shock to my system. I managed to get a bit of breakfast in before leaving for work at 7:30am, but didn't get anything else to eat until almost 2pm, then just a crappy, fries and appetizer plate from the kitchen, chugged a bunch of cola to keep going, again, had a foot-long sub from Subway (1/2 for a late lunch, and 1/2 for dinner a few hours later), bought the largest size cola cup, and drank a full refill. No surprise I've been gassy and nauseous all day.

Took a walk to Shoppers to buy a new set of headphones for my nightly walks, but wound up buying freaking Doritos and some chocolate covered almonds and I ate the whole damn bag of Doritos, I feel like a fucking pig!

I did get in quite a bit of exercise today, what with all the walking, lifting, hauling and stacking I did today at work, plus walking to and from work and doing some yoga, but the doritos and chocolate just nullifies the whole thing. Plus my blood sugar is totally out of whack again, grrr.

Tomorrow I'll make some veggie soup and fresh bread, and a chopped salad and start all over again. Long walk in the morning, I need to go to the Village to buy Pao D'arco tea, so I'll take a very long walk all over, and pick up groceries while I'm out. Then a tuna sandwich and some fruit for lunch, do a yoga dvd after later in the afternoon, take a nap, prep dinner and try to drag O out to the cafe bookstore for some goodies and maybe a new (to us) book.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Tuesday, sigh

I don't know what's up with my sleeping lately, for days now I've been falling asleep really, really late, like 2-4am, waking up at 6 or 7 am, can't get back to sleep until 9 or 10, then sleeping well into the afternoon. I feel a bit like a creature of the night at the moment, bleh bleh.

Did a little grocery shop today, so I had bread and butter to have toast, and a glass of milk. Ok, so I caved in and also bought a bag of cookies and had 3 goodie rings with breakfast too, I'm only human (and what a lot of human I will be if I keep eating goodie rings for breakfast!)

I'm planning on doing a yoga dvd or going to the Y at 6:30 for the studio cycle class (spinning for those who don't want to pay for the tm name,) and also doing a lot of cleaning. Got enough energy last night to finally mop the kitchen floor, today I've got to do the playroom!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Cue the Rocky theme music

I've been doing pretty good lately exercise-wise, lots of walking at least. My diet still ain't all that great, mostly because I've been working so much lately.

I walked a whole lot yesterday, walked up the ramp at the stadium, then all over the west side upper deck, down the ramp again, and around the entire stadium. Walked home from the stadium, about 1.5-2 miles, then went for a pre-bedtime walk for 1/2 hour. Added to all the walking and hauling I did on Saturday too, it adds up to quite a bit.

The food choices at the stadium, however, are pretty weak, I had oatmeal for breakfast, then went for about 6 hours before I could eat again, had a cheeseburger and a chocolate bar for lunch and a cup of tea with cream and sugar. Had a can of tomato soup with cream for a snack, then made fried rice with eggs and almonds for dinner. Had another massive sugar craving and ate creamed sugar and butter again, YUCK! It's soooo gross, I have to stop doing that!

Today, so far, I've walked to and from work, had oatmeal with cream and sugar for breakfast, tea with cream and sugar, an oatmeal cookie and a cranberry muffin for lunch at work, some homemade chicken noodle soup (broad noodles and my chicken broth,) roast chicken with fried rice for dinner, and yogurt and muesli for bedtime snack.

It's totally wet, cold and crappy out, and my shoes have a hole in the bottom, side and top, so I didn't go out for my night-time walk. Didn't do the yoga dvd either, but I did make a space in my room for my yoga mat and will do some yoga or stretching before bed tonight.

Tomorrow I will either go to the Y for studio cycle at noon, or do a yoga dvd, and do some serious cleaning in the playroom, kitchen and storage room. For food, oatmeal or muesli for breakfast, a tuna wrap and canned soup for lunch, veggie soup or rice, beans and sausage for dinner, and fruit for snacks.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

183 lbs

I'm down 2 lbs this week, ok, but I usually drop 4 or 5 within a week when I make any changes to my diet or exercise (and then down to 1lb/week) so I'm still a little disappointed. I really want to be under 180 lbs soon, I hate being up here so close to my all-time high weight of 195.

I took my measurements yesterday, I'll try to measure every month, preferably on the 1st, or something I can easily remember.

I have been doing much more activity this month, focusing on a goal of increasing my total minutes of exercise, instead of on specific activities. It's working well, but I haven't really made any good changes in my diet yet. I'm not snacking like I was last month, but that's mostly because I just don't have the time to eat this month.

I'm going to focus for the rest of this month on eating 3 meals and 2 small snacks a day, and on eating a bit of protein and a fruit or vegetable with each meal.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Getting better

I've actually been doing pretty good this week, been walking daily, did yoga with the girls at work over lunch, and have been really cutting down on my snacking. Being broke does wonders for the figure!

I haven't been keeping track of my food intake too much, but here's todays:

breakfast: quiche lorraine, granola bar, tea with cream and sugar
lunch: veggie lasagna (it was yucky, didn't eat much), a bit of garlic toast (also yucky)
snack: chips and dip off catering table, more tea
dinner: whole wheat noodles and tomato sauce
had a total sugar fit after dinner and ate creamed butter and sugar again, at least not much of it, and I feel totally crappy again. Have got to get these cravings under control!


walked to and from work

plan for tomorrow: I'm working at the stadium, catering, so won't be walking around, or even walking the ramps, so will need to exercise before my shift, preferably the water flow yoga dvd.

tomorrow's meals:

breakfast: tea, toast and egg
lunch: tuna sandwich, canned soup and fruit
dinner: at stadium, try to eat something relatively healthy

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Yeah, well, I tried...

Crazy day at work today, crazier than even I'm used to (and I've broken up drag queen fights!)

On the up side, I was, at some points, literally running for hours (somehow every single soup spoon in the entire arena has gone missing in one week. Every one! 1000 soup spoons! How does that happen?!?!!)

On the other hand, I lived on cola, brownies and chicken fingers to get through the night. I must have drank at least a liter of coke during my shift, I did manage to go easy on the dessert tray, but didn't eat nearly enough, as usual, and feel nauseous and have a wicked headache.

I didn't do any formal exercise today, but did a bit of stretching, walked to and from work, and must have walked at least 3 or 4 miles at work today.

breakfast: oatmeal
lunch: 5 or 6 chicken fingers and 1/2 of the grossest potato wedge I've ever eaten
dinner: 1/2 slice of pork loin and a handful of french fries, from the buffet, with a small amount of fruit, and 4 small brownie portions

and, as mentioned, way too much Coke.

Tomorrow, I am working again, but only a few hours. Will try to do yoga tomorrow evening, and go for long walk. For meals I will have toast or oatmeal for breakfast, leftover curry for lunch and a frittata with salad for dinner.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Labour Day

Just barely woke up today, I crawled out of bed at almost 2pm, I don't know why I'm so tired today. I kept waking up from 8am on, but could just barely pry my eyelids open, couldn't wake up, but couldn't get any rest either, grr.

Made O a scrambled egg burrito for breakfast, I ate the scrambled egg, with cheese and green onion, but skipped the tortilla and ate 1/2 an orange.

Stretched a bit, I'm feeling really sore, not just like my muscles are tired, but like their filled with toxins, like I felt when I was extremely sick years ago before starting to treat the candida, when I had to take a 45 min hot shower before I could stand up completely. I must have really let myself go this time again, and I have a lot of work to get back to a bare minimum of health. I'm short on Pao D'arco tea until pay day, so I can only drink one cup a day, I know from experience this isn't enough, but it's better than nothing. Will need to really commit to doing daily yoga, too, to flush out the toxins in my muscles and get things flowing again. The water flow dvd I bought sounds really nice right now!

Still having trouble eating without getting nauseous, had a can of Campbell's chicken noodle soup for lunch. Ate a small bag of chips for a snack at work, walked to and from work, 45 minutes, and ate chick pea tikka curry on rice with sauteed broccoli.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Better day

I wound up sleeping most of the day, must have been pretty worn out this week, I don't know what from, though.

Ate oatmeal with cream and sugar for breakfast. Went right back to sleep and woke up too ravenous to cook, so ate a spoonful of peanut butter for lunch (I know, I know...)

Dinner was great, though, salmon, rice and a salad. Had another spoonful of peanut butter and ate a kit-kat after dinner, and ate some noodles with butter and parmesan that O made as a bedtime snack.

Went for a short walk, 30 minutes, but not much other exercise or activity. Tomorrow being the 1st day of school for us, I'm hoping to get a bit more done.

Tomorrow's plan:
breakfast-oatmeal or muesli
lunch-tuna sandwich and canned soup
dinner-chick pea curry on rice with lentil dhal, simple green salad and raita

yoga program #1
45 minute walk

Saturday, September 1, 2007

September Goals

Sharply reduce the amount of sugar in my diet
Sleep naturally
Do yoga at least 4x's/week
Walk daily
Lose 5 lbs

Feeling crappy

Well, as usual, things didn't go completely as planned today, but didn't have a total blow-out day either. I made oatmeal for breakfast, had a cheeseburger and 2 cokes at the football game, and was too tired, sunstrokey and nauseous to make dinner, so ate a pack of Mr. Noodles.

No exercise to speak of, other than vigorously cheering on O's team to their 4th in a row victory (48-0 this time, yikes!)

Plan for tomorrow:
breakfast - scrambled egg burrito for O and I
lunch - canned soup and sandwich
dinner - salmon, couscous or quinoa, and broccoli

45 min walk with Owen
yoga #1

Friday, August 31, 2007

Another so-so day

It started well, but quickly went downhill. The computer froze and locked up repeatedly, and at one point it looked like I was going to lose all my files, pictures, all my homeschooling records. That made me a very unhappy camper. Turns out the computer had a Trojan that the virus program was trying to get rid of, and that attempt was freezing and crashing the computer. Had to run the pc recovery program 5 times before I finally got it up and running!

Spent most of the day getting the computer up and running, doing the dishes and household chores, and waiting in O hand and foot because of his infected foot, so didn't eat when I should have, ran out to buy groceries and wound up eating 1/2 bag of Old Dutch chips and a Kit-Kat bar. And now I'm right back to trying to get on the wagon.

My neck and jaw feel horrible, though, it feels like my ear, jaw and the area in between on my left side is getting infected and I can barely open my mouth. I'm incredibly nauseous again from the iron pill, not as bad as yesterday, I did take the pill with food and vitamin C, but still don't feel great. I have no sense of hunger, so I'm just eating when my blood sugar falls and I become dizzy, fuzzy-headed and ravenous.

Tomorrow is a football game day, and I'm working the bbq, so I will not have much access to good food, and won't have time to eat regularly. I really need to get a handle on this soon.

Tomorrow's plan:
breakfast- oatmeal or muesli
lunch-soup and sandwich
dinner-curry in crockpot or salmon with couscous and sauteed veg

yoga sun salutes in am
go for walk after dinner

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Human redux

Did pretty good today, ate:

1 mandarin
1 oz cheddar cheese
2 slices of bread with butter and honey
3 cups of milk
1 small bowl beef stew (the meat was making me gag)
1 slice bread with the stew
1 pear
1 slice bread with natural peanut butter
and a Kit-Kat.

Ok, not great, but certainly better than I have lately, and more real food too!

Went for a 50 minute walk after dinner, that's when I stopped for the Kit-Kat, and did some stretching, man am I stiff and sore!

I drank my Pao D'arco with breakfast and after dinner, and had a large glass of water with psyllium husks, to counteract the effects of the iron pills. Did not have my yogurt.

Tomorrow's plan:
breakfast: oatmeal with milk and brown sugar
lunch: chicken noodle soup (homemade) with tuna or veg and cheese sandwich
dinner: pan fried salmon, rice pilaf, and sauteed broccoli, kale, peppers and onions
snack: yogurt (w/ or w/o muesli)

Exercise: sun salutes and 45 minute walk in am, before O wakes up, yoga dvd in evening if my energy level is up to it.

Make tea first thing and drink after thyroid pill. Take iron pill with Vitamin C pill at breakfast. Cut down sinus pills to 1 every 4-6 hours (it feels like I'm getting an infection in my jaw, I've had trouble chewing all day, we'll see where the pain levels are tomorrow. My TS is really generally on a waning phase right now, but my jaw tic is really out of control and I wake up in enormous pain from grinding my teeth and jaw all night.)

Try to do a yoga routine including shoulder stands and take a walk or otherwise wear myself out before bed to avoid having to take sleeping meds.

Feeling human

I wound up with a wicked migraine last night, from all the crappy food, lack of exercise, and all the pain killers I've been depending on. Stress has been making me grind my teeth more, giving me more of a headache, the bad diet and candida is giving me horrible sinus pain, so I've been taking sinus medication for about a month straight now. The migraine last night was a rebound headache when I didn't take the sinus meds as usual.

My head and neck were so sore, and I was so nauseous from the pain and all the meds and supplements in my system that I could barely eat, managed to eat, what else, a bag of chips, but even the crunching was hurting my head. It was all I could do to eat a bit and lie down in the dark.

After doing some more research online last night about candida and anemia and other issues I have, I reminded myself that the headaches, muscle aches, exhaustion and fatigue, cold sweats and being out of breath on even short, 2 minute, walks were all symptoms of either the candida or the anemia, and I need to deal with the underlying issues, or this diet and exercise plan will never work, no matter how commited I am.

This morning took an iron pill with my thyroid pill. Big mistake, need to have it with food! My stomach is soooo sore. Managed to eat a mandarin and some cheese for breakfast. Must remember to take the iron pill tomorrow morning with food and a vitamin C tablet.

Have not had any sugar yet today, which is great for me. Will try to avoid any sugar today, and start slowly tapering off the sinus med, the gravol I've also been taking for weeks for all the nausea and insomnia I've been having, and try to cut out caffeine (again, learned my lesson yesterday, slooooowly.)

I aim to eat a tuna sandwich and canned soup for lunch, and beef stew on rice for dinner, and add a fresh salad with nuts and a boiled egg somewhere in there for a snack.

I also aim to take a 45 minute walk today, and do 30 minutes of yoga.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Baby steps

Yesterday's lunch was fantastic, really satisfying, but it's disheartening how much work I have to put into having a healthy lunch at work, and how I basically have to sneak off to eat it so my boss doesn't notice me "wasting time" (unless I eat at my desk, while simultaneously answering emails and returning phone calls.) I'm also the office freak because I don't drink coffee or smoke! That is a seriously unhealthy place.

I did pretty good yesterday, didn't drink any pop, did have some tea with sugar, but just a bit, and only snuck two cookies from the kitchen. Did okay at home, didn't go off to buy chips when I was ravenously hungry, managed to eat enough at work to keep my wits about me and make a snack. Had a bit of steak and some pasta salad for dinner.

Then the carb craving hit around 10pm. Since I froze the extra muffins so I wouldn't eat a dozen in a day, and had purged my cupboards of most the snack type stuff, I wound up going back to early childhood and creaming butter and sugar together and eating that, yuck. Felt violently ill afterward, plus started having crazy mood swings. And noticed my tongue is covered in a white film and cracked, and I have sores in my mouth. All signs of a major candida infestation again. I'm not keeping up with the Pao D'arco tea, or the garlic, nor am I anywhere near sugar-free yet. My head is killing me, I have to take Gravol on a daily basis for nausea, I'm living on OTC drugs, what is wrong with me? I know that I will feel better when I'm sugar free, it's just going to take a week or two of feeling like utter crap to get to that point.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Back in the saddle

I woke up early today, probably not nearly enough sleep, but, oh well... I did get a jump start on my day, and made most of my lunch last night, so I just have to pack up the soup and go.

I was hoping to kick start my fitness plan a bit by doing some stair climbing in the bowl at work, but the bowl is on a strictly need-to access and is a hard-hat area this week, because of the ice install and rigging being done in the upper deck. Ah, I'm so good at finding excuses!

Had 2 muffins, 1 cheese stick, a boiled egg and 1/2 orange for breakfast. Packed up a great salad in my lunch box thingie, mixing the veggies in the lower section and putting the dressing, cheese, egg and nuts in the upper one. It fit everything perfectly. I also packed up some fruit, and leftover minestrone from last night. Should be a good lunch.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Oooops I did it again

I woke up late today, couldn't get it together to make breakfast before work, wolfed down three (homemade) muffins and a banana for my combined breakfast and lunch at 2pm at work, and came home so hungry and tired that I ran out and bought chips and ate most of the large bag before I remembered that I had food prepped for me to eat! Arrrggghh!

So, diet starts tomorrow, really!!!!

The plan for tomorrow:

Pack a breakfast of 2 muffins, an apple, a cheese stick and a few lime slices to add to soda water at work, lunch of leftover soup from tonight and a small, tossed green salad with a boiled egg, the last of the goat cheese, toasted nuts and some tamari-sesame dressing in separate containers.

Walk or bike to and from work.
Do a yoga dvd before bed.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

So, I've already blown my diet

Diets don't work, that's what everyone says, and I'm living proof.

No really, I seriously am going to work on this no sugar thing, starting... tomorrow.

The problem today, I think, was that I didn't have a meal planned out well for breakfast, so I just had bread, butter and honey, and I didn't eat lunch, so then I was starved by 4pm and went and got chips. Again. I know all this. I do this stuff every day. I knew today was the day I wanted to start my diet. So why didn't I plan this all out a little better?

I still haven't made the multi-grain bread I've been meaning to make this week, nor the apple carrot muffins, nor the cookies to put in the freezer for when I really have to have a treat. Since I didn't make the homemade snack food I need, I wound up snacking on crap again.

So...lesson learned. What am I doing for tomorrow?

I need a breakfast and lunch plan. I'm sick and tired of toast, or bread and butter, and I'm to the point where another sandwich will send me over the edge. I need to plan some real food.

breakfast: smoothie or muesli
lunch: muffin, apple and cheese,
dinner: tortellini minestrone with hot italian sausage

breakfast: muffin, fruit and cheese
lunch: leftover soup
dinner: sirloin steak and pasta salad

breakfast: oatmeal
lunch: leftover pasta salad
dinner: goat cheese frittata with crusty bread and green salad

Fall goal setting

185 lbs.

That's the starting point as of today.

Goal weights for next few weeks:

Week 1: September 2 - 184
Week 2: September 9 - 182
Week 3: September 16 - 180
Week 4: Septermber 23 - 179

Long term goal:
140 lbs by July 1/08

Short term diet goals:
reduce sugar
measure dairy products
reduce butter
eat red meat at least 5 times a week (get iron checked at end of September)
increase leafy greens
eat 1 apple daily
limit pasta and bread
choose meals carefully at work
pack lunch for work more often

Short term exercise goals:
go out for 30 minute walk daily
do yoga 4x's/week
attend basic step class every Wed in September
attend at least one other fitness class at the Y per week in September

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Seriously, I mean it, the diet starts tomorrow

I knew that there would be no way I could stick to a reasonable diet this week, between work, hanging out with Geri, and the football game. But I really do mean it that I will start seriously working on my diet and exercise regime tomorrow.

There are no events coming up at the arena or stadium until Sept. 4th. Most of O's upcoming football games are home games, meaning that it'll be easier for me to bring along my own food, and I will be up and walking around helping out with the bbq and other stuff. The Y is starting their fall schedule next week, so there will be more classes, and more beginner and light weight classes for me to choose from. Hockey season is starting and I will be running around at work 5-6 hours a days. All in all, this should make it a little easier for me to commit to, and stick to, a diet and exercise plan.

Add to all this the fact that my work pants are soooo tight on me that I'm afraid to get on the scale and find out where I am. I will weigh in tomorrow, though, and post measurements, so I'll be really embarrassed to have to keep posting no progress. I think I should also commit to blogging my food and exercise daily, and commit to a regular time to do that, like bedtime.

Be careful what you wish for

When I was a kid I really wanted to live off fair ground food, would have been totally happy to eat hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries, those little fried donuts, and anything on a stick.

As an adult, I will pay never to have to eat this crap again!! Seriously!!

I worked at the stadium last night. At the arena, the food options are pretty bad, but at least I can usually have a bowl of the soup and something resembling a salad from the buffet. At the stadium staff meals are given by voucher. That means that I can go to any of the concessions to eat. Which means that my healthiest choices are hot dogs and hamburgers. The only other options are smokies, fried donuts, popcorn drenched in "butter substitute", chocolate bars, twizzlers, slurpees and pizza by the slice.

At least with all the walking not only on the main floor, but having to hike up the ramp (equivalent of about 8 stories or so), I got a bit of exercise. Made up a bit for the cheeseburger and 7-up I had for dinner.

And today is a football game day for O, which means buying another hot dog or hamburger and a pop (I don't have to, but it raises money for the teams, and it's pretty rude not to, and it's way easier than packing several meals to bring with me.) I had back bacon and whole wheat buttermilk pancakes for breakfast, so I should probably go pretty easy on the lunch, and try to get out for a long walk today. Really must fix my bike today, I'm missing out on some easy exercise that way.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Reality Check

I need these every now and then. I've been having good days and bad days. Specifically a "good" day (one with lots of physical activity) is inevitably followed by a "bad" day (one where I can barely get off the couch.) I know I've said it over and over, but I really have to go easy on my body these days, I just can't expect out of it what I could 10 years ago.

So, the plan for today:
Breakfast-steel cut oats with 1/2+1/2 and brown sugar
Lunch-mixed salad with goat cheese and a boiled egg
Dinner-steak sandwich? or maybe another beef stirfry
snack-yogurt, fruit and a muffin
make sure to drink 2 cups of Pao D'arco tea

exercise plan:
do the Shiva Rea dvd sun salutes to wake myself up a bit
go for a mid to long walk

ok, so I've already had a big glass of milk and a handful of chocolate chips, I'm human

Sunday, August 19, 2007


I woke up at 6am today, with a queasy stomach, sore back, and woozy head. I'm so sick of being sick, and sick of being so sick that I don't take good care of myself and get even more sick.

In the immortal words of Bill the Cat: "Accckk Thhhtttppppp!"

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Ate 2 cheeseburgers and a coke at the Football game

'Nuff said.

Yoga is supposed to be relaxing!

I can't believe how old and out of shape I feel. I didn't think it'd been that long since I last did a regular yoga practice, but man, I felt like a total beginner yesterday (except that what I can still do, I do well, so the really slow beginning dvd was totally annoying at some points.) I'm not going to have the time today to practice yoga before O's game. I wanted to practice when I got up, while O was still sleeping, but for the first time in about 2 years, O woke up at 10am and I realized that I had so much to do today that I couldn't stop to do anything for myself. I hate days like that.

I'm realizing before I even get to the fitness and good health stuff, I'm going to have to work on simplifying and purging my life and getting back into a good routine, so I have the time and space to do the stuff I want.

Friday, August 17, 2007


Did pretty good today after all. Walked to and from work, and did the Yoga for Beginners dvd (the Shiva Rea one turned out to be too hard at the moment, or, more specifically, my body is too soft and squishy for it.) Made beef burguignon for dinner, quite yummy. Then had a massive sugar craving and ate some butter and sugar creamed (yuck, I'm channeling my childhood when I'd sneak the creamed butter and sugar out of the bowl when my mom made pound cake.)

Also had two slices of toast with butter, and three slices of bread and butter with the stew. I'm definitely craving some carbs, but it's not the total brain meltdown it was a few weeks ago. All in all, things are getting better. Still forgot my tea again today, will need to get on that tomorrow.

And I have two glorious days to sleep in and not worry about when I have to get up, ahhh, the life.

Oh the temptation!

I'm at work, I'm going to work longer than I thought I would, and now I'm craving an order of buffalo wings from Charlie Biggs upstairs. They are soooo yummy!

Update: I resisted the sweet siren song of buffalo wings with ranch dip, opting, instead, for the much easier on my wallet, intestines and ass, 6 inch tuna sub on whole wheat from Subway. Probably more satisfying because I didn't finish it and immediately crave a dozen more, like I would have with the buffalo wings. And maybe now I won't be too nauseous and crappy feeling to do yoga tonight. I still haven't done the Shiva Rea dvd I was so excited about buying 2 weeks ago. If only buying exercise equipment burned as many calories as actually using it, sigh.

I will try to take a good (by which I mean horribly, horribly bad) picture of myself to have a before to compare myself to. Maybe I'll even post the honest truth about my weight and measurements, that'll keep me honest (or curled up in the fetal position, crying)

Back on the Wagon...

I hope!

So, rested up again for a while, and now I'm feeling slightly more human. I did a largish grocery shop yesterday, better than I have for a while, and bought good stuff, and planned out meals for a week. Hopefully we can stick to it this week.

For breakfast today I made some steel-cut oats, sauteed in a bit of butter first, with 1/2 + 1/2 and maple syrup. I know, doesn't sound like much of a "diet" breakfast, but there is a method to my madness.

First of all, this is all about eating better, not just losing weight, eating real food, good, home-cooked food. Secondly, because of the thyroid and O's football, I'm experimenting with eating TF (traditional foods), which is necessarily a lot more fat/meat/dairy involved than the current "good" diet looks like.

I haven't lost any weight, in fact a bit has crept on again, but my skin looks fahhhhbulous, like buttah! I haven't stuck well enough to the diet to see if it will help my weight or energy levels, I'm still eating a bag of Doritos or a chocolate bar or 6 every day, and haven't been taking my Pao D'arco tea for the candida, so there's no way I would know how this works for me right now.

So, what I really need to do, starting today, is get my snacking/junk food/pop/crap food addiction under control. It's hard being at work and having access to all the worst stuff, and no good stuff, but I have the next 3 weeks or so without being in the restaurant and around the crappy food and pop guns, so hopefully I can use this time to establish some good habits, and get back in the swing of food planning and prep.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Update on today

Wound up sleeping most of the evening, I guess I'm still sick from that flu and fighting it off. I'm feeling completely exhausted still, even though I slept all evening. Needless to say, I didn't wind up doing the yoga dvd like I wanted to. I could barely handle walking to the pharmacy up the street for milk and batteries. Hope I feel more energetic tomorrow.

Meals for today:

breakfast: Raisin Bran and milk
lunch: 1/2 wrap leftover from yesterday with ham, chicken and lettuce, 1 cup milk
dinner: homemade burrito with leftover chili and cheese, 1 cup milk

I'm pretty sure I ate more than this today, but can't for the life of me remember what it was right now. Sheesh, I'm old, sick and fat. How much lamer can I get!


I weighed myself yesterday, but didn't post, so here's the verdict:
179 lbs

Not great, I'm still about 12 lbs up from my low of last year, but down from the horrid 185 of 2 weeks ago. At least I'm below 180.

This means my net weight loss now over 4 years is 16 lbs, down from my all-time, post-hypothyroid high of 195 lbs.

My goal for the next weigh-in, Monday, August 21, is 177 lbs.

My exercise goal for this week is to do yoga every day except Saturday. Since O has another football game that day, I'll use that as a rest day.

I will start the Couch to 5K program next week, with the aim to complete it in the 9 weeks alloted, but will probably need to repeat at least a few weeks in the middle, as I think it might progress too fast for me after week 4. Last thing I want now is to get sick, again!

I had a milk shake and a lemon square from Tall Grass yesterday, but had 2 pieces of fruit, and some veggies in my wrap for dinner. Went with O to Junior's for the milkshake, but passed up anything else, so I feel pretty good about that.

I feel really shaky and dense today, have all week. I will try to make sure I drink my Pao D'arco tea, and really start on cutting out the sugar from my diet this week. Other than that, I'll mostly be focusing on eating 3 meals and 2 snacks, eating no processed foods this week (I'm off work most of the week, so that shouldn't be a big problem), eating enough protein and increasing my water intake. I've been getting progressively more dehydrated, I wake up feeling hung over every morning and my pee has been daffodil yellow for a couple of weeks now. I'm obviously not getting enough water with the incredible heat, and my cold sweats that I've been having for several weeks now too.

Sunday, August 12, 2007


I'm blogging here to have some accountability to my weight loss/fitness plan for the next few months/years/decades, however long it takes me to lose this damn weight!

August 12/07
today's weight: 180 lbs
breakfast: 1/2 cup balkan yogurt and 1/3 cup Bob's Red Mill Muesli