Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Baby steps

Yesterday's lunch was fantastic, really satisfying, but it's disheartening how much work I have to put into having a healthy lunch at work, and how I basically have to sneak off to eat it so my boss doesn't notice me "wasting time" (unless I eat at my desk, while simultaneously answering emails and returning phone calls.) I'm also the office freak because I don't drink coffee or smoke! That is a seriously unhealthy place.

I did pretty good yesterday, didn't drink any pop, did have some tea with sugar, but just a bit, and only snuck two cookies from the kitchen. Did okay at home, didn't go off to buy chips when I was ravenously hungry, managed to eat enough at work to keep my wits about me and make a snack. Had a bit of steak and some pasta salad for dinner.

Then the carb craving hit around 10pm. Since I froze the extra muffins so I wouldn't eat a dozen in a day, and had purged my cupboards of most the snack type stuff, I wound up going back to early childhood and creaming butter and sugar together and eating that, yuck. Felt violently ill afterward, plus started having crazy mood swings. And noticed my tongue is covered in a white film and cracked, and I have sores in my mouth. All signs of a major candida infestation again. I'm not keeping up with the Pao D'arco tea, or the garlic, nor am I anywhere near sugar-free yet. My head is killing me, I have to take Gravol on a daily basis for nausea, I'm living on OTC drugs, what is wrong with me? I know that I will feel better when I'm sugar free, it's just going to take a week or two of feeling like utter crap to get to that point.

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