190 lbs!!!!

I'm already down 5 lbs this week, and before my period too! That was my goal for next month. My weight fluctuates so much that 5 lbs isn't a huge deal to drop in a week for me, but it means that I'm already 10% to my goal, before the New Year even starts! I was hoping to be able to get the big 1st week numbers, but still it shocked me, since I ate soooo badly all last week. Just goes to show how much a chocolate binge or a bottle of wine does affect my body.

I'm doing really well with the eating right now. I've learned through sooo many failed diets (well, they can't really have failed if I never made it to the end of the day...) that I need to make changes slowly. Since I've already done this successfully once, I have a lot of confidence in myself to do it again. I've already cut out the really unnecessary sugars, the pop, cookies and goodies, and sugary tea. I'm working today on starting to cut out the sugar servings I'm really dependent on, like in my oatmeal. Oatmeal isn't really the tastiest of foods, sugar makes it nice, but I'm going to learn to enjoy it without sugar. Really, I'm sure oatmeal has subtle charms that I have heretofore missed because of the sugar... it's gotta have something, right?

I didn't exercise yesterday, but I did a whole lot of housework. I'm moving back to green housekeeping, so it meant a whole lot of kneeling, scrubbing, rinsing, carrying the water bucket around to dump and refill. Not what I'd been hoping to do, physically, but if there is one thing I have learned this year, it's to listen to my body veeeeery closely.

New Year, new goals

I'm getting back up on that horse, hope I don't break the poor thing's back, sigh. I've gained back all the weight I've managed to lose over the last 3 years, so I'm right back where I started. I am doing better now and am able to get some exercise, and do some food prep, instead of depending on convenience foods.

O has decided he wants to get on the fitness bandwagon with me, making things much easier for me. Having a buddy to kick my ass out of the house (and vice versa) helps so much, and not having to worry about what he'll be willing to eat makes my food planning and prep much smoother.

I've been slowly weaning myself off sugar this week. I don't plan on going totally sugar-free for a few months at least (summer would be the easiest time for me), but do want to cut out sugary foods and other simple carbs like chips, and eat very limited amounts of home made sweets and desserts until then.

Right now, for January, I'm working on food planning and making sure I have healthy snacks and options around to make easy work day lunches and bedtime snacks. I'm looking for some good bean dip recipes, and hope to experiment with some crackers and breads this coming month. I'm going to have a whole week straight off work (give or take a day), so I'm hoping to do lots of feed-the-freezer cooking.

For my body, I'll be aiming to do a yoga dvd at least 3 times a week, getting outside for a walk daily, climbing stairs here at the building (I'm on the 5th floor, so I'll start with doing the stairs once a day, and work up to at least 5 or 6 repeats), and playing hacky sack in my apartment (cheap winter workout!)

Wow man!

I was soooo sick. I was so sick I didn't know how sick I was!

And I'm still sick. This is no flu. It's some sort of super-flu, a super-duper flu that makes bird flu look like bunny flu! Crap I was sick!

And now, thanks to sleeping 14 hours a day, only being able to eat simple starch foods like toast and noodles, and the crappy food available at work, I've put back on all the weight it took me 3 years to lose! Arrrggghhhh!

Ok, the plan for now:

I've given up on the idea of the gym for this year, at least. I've gone once in the last month, did 15 minutes on the bike and a light arm weight workout and was bed-ridden for 2 days afterward! I don't know if it's because I'm still sick, or because the weight I put back on is putting that much more of a strain on me, but I'm going to have to go slow, no matter what.

My plan is to combine fitness with housework, kill two birds with one stone. So I'm doing the whole green housekeeping thing, cleaning the kitchen and bathroom with baking soda and vinegar, getting down on my knees and scrubbing and rinsing. Washing the walls, windows, doing small loads of laundry by hand in a bucket. My place is slowly getting back to normal, and I'm building up my fitness level while I'm at it.

Xmas is a crappy time to have to go back on a diet, but there's nothing for it. I just have to bite the bullet, get back on the diet, and no cheating! It's not just that I'm fat, I feel like crap, I feel at least 30 years older than I really am, and I'm losing large chunks of my life to sleeping and being exhausted. Xmas or not, diet, here I come.

I need to prioritize time to do yoga, as well, and to block off time to do food prep, and hope that I'm functional and capable of cooking and cleaning when I have the time to do it. I have to pack a meal for work every day, and keep high-protein foods around the office for emergencies. And I know I've been saying it for months, but no more cola or goodies at work. I need to bring in some healthy, high protein snacks to keep my blood sugar stable, so it doesn't drop halfway through the dinner rush and leave me fuzzy and looking for the pop gun.

My short-term goal is to lose 10 lbs by Jan. 1/08. I think this is reasonable, since I usually drop 5 lbs in water weight whenever I start to exercise and drop the junk food.

Wow

I was waaaay sicker than I thought I was, and I'm only starting to feel better now. My diet got really bad while I was sick, eating a bag of chips for dinner, stuff like that, because I was just too tired to even think about what to eat, let alone plan, shop and cook. I never want to get that sick again.

Hopefully this has kicked me in the butt enough to really sink in that I can't eat any way I want to, and I can't put my health second. I had a long talk with the big boss at work about my health (I'm still not sure that I can even do this job anymore), who told me how he developed diabetes largely the same way I'm going to (going for way too long without eating, living off caffeine and sugary foods at work, working way too long hours and not exercising) and how he learned the hard way not to put his body second. He's given me permission to eat and rest when I need to (sounds pretty basic, but a huge concession in my line of work.)

The good news is that my hemoglobin numbers are finally up, for the first time in 20 years, so the iron pills are working, and my fatigue isn't anemia. The bad news is that it's probably all candida related, or maybe I'm developing something new and completely different (wouldn't that be lovely!) Starting today I'm going back to a sugar and white flour-free diet, until Jan. 1, then I might go on to eliminating all flour products and sweet fruits too, if need be.

I haven't bothered with a weigh-in for a long time, but I'll do one tomorrow to get (another) baseline. Right now weight loss will be the last of my goals, but hopefully a nice side effect of the new diet.

Urg!

I have been sick as a dog all week long, just starting to feel human again. Head cold, stomach flu, and raging hay fever, all at the same time, plus sick teenage boy and now a sick kittie, I'm feeling like locking myself in the bathroom and not coming out until I've been guaranteed a new life.

And, as usual, I'm starting to feel better just in time to spend all my time at work, 9 days straight starting on Tuesday, almost 2 straight weeks with only 1 day off. Oh I'm so glad to be me (struggling to keep a straight face here.)

So, I haven't even bothered to weigh-in lately, no real reason to, and I mostly forget, I've been so out of it in the mornings. I haven't been able to keep up with much, not my diet, I did 1/2 hour of yoga this week and was sore and achy for days afterward, and barely able to walk 10 feet without stopping for breath.

So here I am again, starting all over... again, argh!

Ok, vent over, tomorrow is another day, yada yada etc...

Tomorrow is also, however, Thanksgiving, otherwise known as the Irish food and drinking binge around my family. I don't think I have it in me to even pig out tomorrow at my sister's.

Still tired

I really hate this whole "I don't know my body or my limits anymore" thing. I'm still tired all day long and barely moving, and just walking to the library and the pharmacy (6 blocks round trip total) this morning wore me out so badly I think I have to take a nap before work. It isn't helping that I've been working almost every day this week, and will barely get a day off this month.

On the plus side, though, I am making headway in the diet department, I've really cut down on the sugar and the snacking, have kept to my supplement routine, and the sugar cravings are starting to go away. If I can stick to my diet, I should be sugar-free or nearly so by the end of October.

I've decided to return to the low Glycemic Index diet, it has been the easiest to stick to, and seems to work very well for me. By default, O will be eating this way too. I'm not making 8 meals a day, and I can't afford all the meat and dairy he would like to eat (and neither can his waist size!)

So far today, my eating hasn't been fantastic, I had trouble eating this morning and didn't have breakfast until 2:30pm, had a fried egg sandwich on toast, and an orange. I had to eat, finally, the iron pill was eating it's way through my stomach, ouch! I'm packing a lunch and snack to eat at the stadium tonight, so I don't have to eat the crap we have there (even worse than the arena, my best option is probably a hot dog, no where to buy juice, fruit, or anything remotely vegetable-like, but every stall serves chocolate bars and pizza!) Will likely pack a ham sandwich (with the sprouts I've been sprouting but not eating!), some more fruit, maybe the pasta from the freezer, and a small salad.

Tomorrow is tv football day, but I'm not buying chips or nachos. I'm going to make a healthy dip platter for dinner, red pepper hummus, homemade ranch, peanut sauce and some white bean-roasted garlic dip, with raw veggies and pita bread.

184 pounds

I've lost a bit this week, and I'm pre-menstrual, so I'll be losing a bit more next week, if I can keep this going. I've really stuck to the supplement routine for a few days now, and it's already having some results.

Tomorrow I will start on a low-GI diet again, following this plan, as well as sticking to my supplement plan, doing yoga at least 4 days a week, and walking daily. Hopefully by this time next week, I will be able to post a slightly larger weight loss, and that I'm feeling much better in general.

That said, I'm being a total pig today, it's football Sunday, and O is feeling a little needy, so we're having a Mommy-Son day, eating chips and pop and watching Da Bears.